24

Today I turn the big 2-4. Well technically I'm not 24 until Wheel of Fortune comes on tonight (right mom?) So I'm clinging to my last few hours as a 23 year old.

I'm a pretty reflective person. When I ran track in high school my coaches would always get on me because each time I rounded a corner, I couldn't help looking back over my shoulder. I had to know who was back there and how close they were to catching me. In a race that's a big no no. Evidently it slows you down. Paul seemed to understand this concept.

If I chose to fixate on the numerous (seriously, a ton) of mistakes I've made this past year, Paul's right, it would slow me down. The enemy was hot on my tail. There were moments he was so close I could feel his breath on my neck. And the sad reality is, he's still back there, in pursuit.

So today, I'm not going to risk being slow.

Instead I'm picking up some stones. When I was 23 big things happened to me. A little someone happened too.



A few weeks after Reese was born, I was home alone with her. Danny was back at work and all the relatives had gone home. She was saving this incident just for me. As I was changing her on the floor in her room, what can only be described as a sudden explosion of you- know- what went everywhere! To this day, I'm not sure how it happened and really I'm better off not knowing.

My sense of smell is unusually strong and my gag reflex is even stronger. As my tiny baby was lying there in the midst of all this mess her beautiful eyes gazed up at me. Unfazed and unaware. To keep from making the mess even worse, I started talking to myself.

"Ok, Danny's not here. My mom's not here. What the heck am I going to do...I can't touch that stuff...but I can't leave her like that...people go to jail for that!"

And then a voice interrupted all those other thoughts...

"YOU are the mom now. Look at her face. You are the only Mom she has. Now get to cleaning!"

God has done so much to this 23 year old. He brought me to the river of motherhood and He is leading me through. In the moments when I feel I'm drowning in my selfishness and impatience, He rolls back the water so I can make it to the next day.

And it is a miracle every time He does it.

So I'm picking up my stones. The faithful husband, people's encouraging words, unsolicited help, little gifts in the mail. They're sprinkled all over my twenty-third year. I'm scooping them up, and holding them close as I venture into the realm of 24.